They said "Humanity as we know it is ending. You've been charged with saving 5 HORROR MOVIES from extinction. Let's hear your picks horror fans"

I'm not even 100% sure what they are asking here. I assume it's more than just "What are your 5 favorites?". I figure it's more along the lines of which 5 horror movies are worth saving the most? Which 5 could offer the proper inspiration to potential filmmakers way later after/if things get back to normal? Or at least the inspiration that you... Continue »

After years of being postponed, the movie is finally out. But damnit, that delay was worth it for one specific kill. There was a featurette after the movie describing how the pandemic allowed them to flesh out a rather ordinary kill into some insanely excessive levels. It's such a cruel and sadistic scene, it's hilarious.

Art the Clown is a funny guy. I got a lot of laughs out of him, and I think a few others did too. There were about 10 in the theater, which is a decent turnout by today's stan... Continue »

I can easily say it's the best horror movie I've seen that revolves around a glory hole.

So this dude is on the run from some...personal troubles...probably the less known about that the better. He ends up at a rest stop where he spends the night getting wasted and somehow manages to completely burn his pants? He awakes with an awful hangover, and runs to restroom to puke it all out. At one point he realizes he just touched his face after having touched the toilet, and kind of freaks. But he co... Continue »

First things first: sadly, this post has absolutely nothing to do with The Terminator. We can only pray that referring to Commando is close enough.

Having said that... I was just thinking about this. Watch a minute or so of Commando here. Just pay close attention from about 2:14 to 3:14.



Especially pay attention to the way William Duke (the huge black guy from Predator and Mandy and Sixteen Candles... no, never mind about Sixteen Candles) s... Continue »

Tom Hardy and James Gandolfini are Brooklyn bartenders with some very minimal organized crime connections. Well, at least Tom Hardy wants to steer clear of it, though Gandolfini still revels in his glory days of being respected. When the bar gets robbed, the mob expects our guys to get the money back, but the police are also inching closer to all these illegal activities. Meanwhile, Hardy finds an abused puppy in a woman's trash, and things go from promising to shady real quick.

So far, I've... Continue »

Based on a true NYC bank robbery in 1972, this movie is often regarded as one of the classics, but you don't hear people talk about it that often. Al Pacino was on fire back then. You could tell he was young and hungry, but is the movie as good as they say? Eh, I guess so.

You can tell this movie was a huge influence on Airheads (1994). The hostage situation that garners fans and sympathy while the police try to handle it.

This movie also has Chris Sarandon as a super gay, Charles Durni... Continue »

This was on the Travel Channel, which, as I have mentioned here before, should now be called the Bigfoot Channel.
https://www.travelchannel.com/shows/these-woods-are-haunted/episodes/it-came-from-hell-and-ozark-bigfoot

This episode had a dramatization of brothers who had an encounter with some kind of beast. They think maybe it was a Bigfoot. Is this a popular urban legend around that area of Texas? Or, a rural legend, I guess... I'll just call it a legend. You see where I'm going with... Continue »

Is anybody here a particularly massive fan of the Tremors franchise? I saw the first one, and some of the second one, on some channel yesterday. Possibly SyFy. Anyway, I just started thinking about how Burt Gummer is sort of the Ash of the Tremors franchise. He's a fairly regular guy who just has so much attitude and gumption (and firepower) that he can prevail, while others perish gruesomely.

I'm contemplating binge-watching as many Tremors movies as I can find for free. I wouldn't do i... Continue »

What the fuck was this? BAD Stallone! Bad!

I don't even know what to say about this movie. It's a romance that isn't charming. It's a comedy that isn't funny. It's an action movie that's boring as hell.

I'm glad I never blind-bought this, otherwise I'd have to avenge myself.

This is for anyone who wants to keep a log of their viewings/ratings every month so please feel free to add yours.

The links for the previous 6 years viewings are here if anyone still needs to access them for reference:

2022: https://trashepics.com/post/30/43/
2021: https://trashepics.com/post/30/37/
2020: https://trashepics.com/post/30/31/
2019: https://trashepics.com/post/30/9/
2018: https://trashepics.com/post/30/5/
2017: https://trashepics.com/post/9/97/

Charles Bronson is a cop trying to catch a serial killer with the reluctant help of a dyke he hates. Yeah, he uses that as an insult, but of course, he gradually grows fond of her.

There's a bit of a clusterfuck aspect going on in which the killer is doing their own thing, but the cops are also trying to catch Bronson, accused of some wrongdoing or another.

What I liked about it is that it was mean-spirited. They killed without discrimination here. The movie is comparable to 10 to Midnigh... Continue »

Miles misses Gwen, who now works for Spider-Man 2099. After his parents nag him about his life choices, Miles & Gwen's paths cross once again, and Miles must stop a universe from getting destroyed. However, he recklessly opts to save a single person over an entire planet. He also finds out he has a nemesis who has some portal and reality-hopping abilities. Can he be stopped? Just when you think you're about to find out... TO BE CONTINUED!

Suffice to say, the movie is inconclusive. He doesn'... Continue »

Netflix, 8 episodes, ~45 min each. Arnold is a spy who finds out his daughter is also a spy. They argue a lot before eventually reconciling and making a good team. You've probably seen this plot before.

Now when you mention "Arnold" and "spy", one will inevitably compare it to True Lies, which is a fucking great movie. You may have it in the back of your mind, but one of the best references... is an appearance by Tom Arnold.

The cast is decent. Arnold's T6 co-star Gabriel Luna is in... Continue »

"You owe me an apology. That was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life . . . and it's not even close." Those were the words I heard uttered from a dude in front of me, who had also seen MANDY. The man looked rather normal, so you could assume that his reaction was the result of an amazing film that is not for normal people. And you would be correct in that assumption.

MANDY (2018) - Taking place in 1983, a lumberjack (Nicolas Cage) lives in a secluded cabin in the woods. Hi... Continue »

I'm a pretty big time travel movie fan. Always have been. Even a bad one, I often find at least a little fascinating. Lucky for me as I recently came across one that's not great. However, it was anything but boring. It's like a Butterfly Effect type deal, but not as creative. British film about this poor excuse for a wife/mother. A woman sleeps around on her husband, stays out every night, drinking and getting it on with a co-worker, without a ca... Continue »

There's really nothing new about modern filmmakers trying to recreate the feel of the horror films of the past. However, I haven't seen anything done quite the same way as The Third Saturday in October. Many people who grew up in the 80s or 90s, and rented a lot of horror movies, or watched them on TV, probably originally saw a lot of the big franchises out of order. Maybe the video store didn't carry the all of them, or a sequel was just what was playing on TV that night. The filmmakers here ha... Continue »

I've been doing this con since 2012, with the exception of 2020. I hope I can get another chance to meet Tom Atkins and Ken Foree. But this year is different. It's at the end of the month instead of the beginning, and it's no longer at the Hyatt Regency in DFW, but the Irving Convention Center rather. I think the issue was crowd size, so the 'convention' center was probably more adequate.

I feel they were a little understaffed in the entry protocols though. No onebody knew where they were go... Continue »

Anybody catch this one? It's pretty interesting! For a low budget movie, I would say this is quite a respectable effort. The way the brothers interact is especially good. Very very brotherly, pretty much all the time.

I shouldn't say too much about it, or I'll wreck it. I'll put in a link to the wikipedia article about it, but please don't read beyond the first paragraph or so. I'll just say that it made me think of, at different times and in different ways, Believers (2007); Nope; Phan... Continue »

M. Night is back, and better than ever! A group of armed assailants intrude upon the cabin of a small family. Now this family is two gay dudes and a little Asian girl, so M. Night is going there. It's all about that inclusion.

So intruders try to convince happy gay family that the world is going to end, but the family refuses to believe it after all the signs and bizarre shit that goes on. Maybe it's a metaphor? Maybe it's bullshit? Well, one thing's for sure. It's not very cool. For an... Continue »

It took 12 years for the second movie to come out. Then it took 16 years after that for the third movie to come out. Obviously, it faced a lot of difficulty getting off the ground, but something finally clicked in the 2020s and here we are, almost 30 years into Kevin Smith's filmmaking career. If you didn't already know, this movie stems from a very personal experience from the director, and this whole movie feels very personal.

I never expected the movie to be so sad. Yeah, there are laughs... Continue »

I stock water at work sometimes and there's too many different types. Dasani, Pure Life, Ozarka, Aquafina, Fiji, store brand, other store brand, elctrolyte this, Smartwater that... A six-pack of Core costs almost $10 while the 40-pack of store brand is $5.

Smartwater's motto is "Whatever the choice, keep it smart". The smart thing to do is pay a reasonable price for water, damn you!

So do you only drink a specific brand of water? Are you picky about which water tastes better?

I made the mistake of seeing this at the theater last night. "Experimental horror" bs. This is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever sat through, and I'm pretty open-minded to anything in the horror genre & beyond. But this was complete incoherent crap.
There's no synopsis to give, because there was no plot whatsoever. None. (I paid to see it and wasn't alone, otherwise I would've been done 5 mins in.)

I did this for the first two seasons. Then I started on season 3, but lost all my mini-reviews when my computer crapped out. Years later, I found a backup of some of them, so I finally finished this fucking season.



s3e01 - The Circus - directed by Michael Gornick
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716981/

This was an okay start to the season, featuring the weird and creepy William Hickey as a circus owner who had a bizarre assortment of cliche monsters. A reporter goes to the circus... Continue »

I was hesitant to give Disney any money, but I needed some exercise today, so I walked to the theater and bit the bullet. Guardians 3 is a decent conclusion this "trilogy". It may be a part 3, but the parts between Vol 2 and Vol 3 have a big impact, so it's hardly a real trilogy, but in that regard, the director can make it feel bigger than it is.

I'm hopeful for James Gunn's DC, and his Marvel efforts have always been an alternative style to the cookie-cutter other entries in the MCU. He picks... Continue »

I've been on an organized crime kick lately. For some random reason, I'm finding mafia stuff quite fascinating, so a few crime movies into this binge and I'm finally revisiting The Godfather series.

I first saw them years ago. These movies were always ranked as some of the all-time best, and yeah... I thought they were good enough. Maybe a tad overrated, but whatever. Now I'm watching them again in my contemporary point of view, after I've dissected all the tropes of the genre, and boo... Continue »