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Mar '14 *
Welcome to the first ever... Reviews with Ballz!

Or should I call it Reviewz with Ballz, so it's a z on Reviews too? Not sure, but whatever.

This isn't really going to be anything out of the ordinary as far as reviews go. I'll just give my thoughts on the movie. This is more of just a way for me to ID my reviews on here so they stand out from my regular articles. Of course, I could always add a poll in later reviews too, especially if I review a whole movie series or something.

I'll try to review mostly stuff that's not so popular and well-known, at least as far as I know, just so I'm not covering movies that have already been covered by every other reviewer on the internet. Newer movies might be my exception to that. We'll see though. And of course, I'll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum, if not non-existent.

Anyway, let's start...

Short Night of Glass Dolls (1971) is a giallo. You know, that genre Dario Argento excelled in from the early 1970s to the mid 1980s. The director is one Aldo Lado, who I've never heard of until watching this movie last night. I don't even remember how I found out about this movie and I really didn't know much about it when I started it, other than that it's a giallo.

The movie starts out with a male's body being discovered partially hidden among some bushes. The body is picked up and hauled off to the morgue, where we learn that's he's not dead, but is in fact somehow paralyzed and his vital signs are too weak to be read. And from there, we begin seeing the events that have led up to this.

Of course, that's not exactly the most original plot. A person in a morgue who everyone thinks is dead when they're in fact not has been done plenty of times and even though this was made in the early 1970s, I'm sure that it had been done before then even. However, I would say that this is definitely one of the better played out of those types of movies. I actually feel like that this one had some very Hitchockian vibes to it, more so than other gialli directors that have tried to channel their inner Hitchcock.

Unlike a lot of other gialli I've seen, which to be fair, haven't been that many outside of Argento's, this one really isn't very violent. There are some deaths and some blood, but a lot of it's after-the-fact. What blood was present wasn't really anything to write home about as far as how it was used, though for a movie that didn't show much in that area, I was a little impressed with the look some after-the-fact stab wounds that were shown at one point. Of course, with this movie, the minimal amount of violence shown didn't bother me really at all as I found myself drawn in by the story.

The music in this one was provided by the legendary Ennio Morricone. None of the music has really stuck with me, but it wasn't anything bad. It fit the tone of the movie and that should always be the main goal of a movie's score, right?

One final note about this movie is its title. Short Night of Glass Dolls has absolutely NOTHING to do with glass dolls. I was reading a bit more on this though and apparently it was originally supposed to be called Short Night of Butterflies, which is more fitting.

Overall, despite a few slower moments, I really enjoyed this flick. As I said, it's nothing overly original, but if you're a fan of gialli and haven't seen this one, I say check it out. I definitely want to check out some more of Lado's work now.


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Box_a_Hair says:
#1

Mar '14
I'll keep an eye out for this one. Sadly, I'm not very educated on this genre outside of a few Argento films, but that's gonna have to change. It's funny how gialli always have weird titles. I think it's a criteria for the genre.


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Ballz says:
#2, Reply to #1

Mar '14
Ever seen this site? https://www.braineater.com/misc/giallo_intro.html All of the titles it gives really do sound like possible gialli.


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Box_a_Hair says:
#3, Reply to #2

Mar '14
Interesting... I wanted to do a random text string generator so I could cheat my bing searches in a more intelligible way, rather than simply having random words go together. I want random generators that implement proper sentence structure. Then eventually, I can slowly phase myself out of this site since I can make a robot to post for me.

Instead, I only coded half of what was to be a dictionary system, but I'll get back to it eventually. I do have a random quote generator though, picking from a library of my favorite quotes, over in the ren zone.


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Ballz says:
#4, Reply to #3

Mar '14
That sounds like the start to a Skynet-like scenario. A robot running everything on a site.

Renzonet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.


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#5, Reply to #4

Mar '14
...but they were too late.

1. Renzonet had already uploaded countless billions of trashy movies to the internet, in the ultimate denial of service attack, and completely killed all global communications.

2. Humanity, denied it's easy access to pornography, went insane. These braindead zombiettes turned on each other, in a cannibalistic orgy of wanton sex and violins, sorry, violence, until only a few pockets of resistance remained - they had found their dad's stash of old 1960s Playboys (hey, he just like to read the articles, man!), featuring most of the chicks from Russ Meyer flicks.

3. Together they tried their last possible hope. A band of geeks and nerds hacked into Renzonet's mainframe and re-code his internal serves to see only the Wayback Machine https://archive.org/web/ , and searching for porn sites.

4. [this scene will be restored in the directors cut]

5. Access to online filth was restored to humanity, and wanking resumed. At last, Renzonet was overcum!

Sorry to end that on an incredibly lame pun, but it was probably the only way it could go...


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Ballz says:
#6, Reply to #5

Mar '14
I'd buy that for a dollar!


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Box_a_Hair says:
#7, Reply to #5

Mar '14
I think I might have to steal that for my upcumming soap opera. I've been in need of a good post-apocalyptic storyline, and this could fit.


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#8, Reply to #7

Mar '14
You're most welcome to it, with the proviso that the final scene is a bukkake style mass ejaculation over the Renzonet server, or something equally tech-nerdy. Even if that no longer fits in the context of the story (after the countless re-writes, etc.) it must be the last scene.


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Box_a_Hair says:
#9, Reply to #8

Mar '14
That sounds fantastic. Even if its out of context with the rest of the storyline, I really ought to end that tale in such a way, because I doubt that's been done before, but I could be wrong...



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