Horoscopes
Updated Jun 14
| â | Aquarius | Just let it call you Billy. |
| â | Pisces | Listen to them. The children of the night... what music they make. |
| â | Aries | What comes around is all around. |
| â | Taurus | A big scam is coming your way soon. Just say no. |
| â | Gemini | Don't Stop! Believing! |
| â | Cancer | A chain is only as long as its longest strong chain. |
| â | Leo | Take a shower, you dirty fool. |
| â | Virgo | Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while. |
| â | Libra | Today is a day to be bold. Fuck the sidewalks and walk in the street. And if you're driving, fuck the streets and drive on the sidewalk. |
| â | Scorpio | Indulge in a bad habit, and do it recklessly. Drugs, sex, or alcohol. But not all three. Two out of three is okay though, but if you do all three, something bad is going to happen, guaranteed. |
| â | Sagittarius | Do the world a favor and kill a clown today. |
| â | Capricorn | When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth. |