Horoscopes
Updated Nov 10
| â | Aquarius | The owls are not what they seem. |
| â | Pisces | Maybe you CAN teach an old dog new tricks. Try teaching an old dog how to kickflip. |
| â | Aries | When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth. |
| â | Taurus | Tonight's the night. |
| â | Gemini | Remember to look both ways before crossing the street. Somehow, people still die from stupid shit like this. |
| â | Cancer | One, two, Freddy's coming for you. |
| â | Leo | Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity. |
| â | Virgo | Man's got to know his limitations. |
| â | Libra | To know death, @, you have to fuck life in the gall bladder. |
| â | Scorpio | I wouldn't even go outside today if I were you. |
| â | Sagittarius | A chain is only as long as its longest strong chain. |
| â | Capricorn | Do the world a favor and kill a clown today. |